A few of my favourite YouTubers released videos about what they learnt in 2021. I decided to have a go in written form. I used the following questions from Marie Poulin (via UnJaded Jade) to reflect on 2021:

  • 3 favourite parts of 2021
  • What am I most proud of?
  • What challenged me the most?
  • When did I feel most scared?
  • What did I learn about myself in 2021?
  • Describe one favourite moment.
  • If you could change one thing about 2021, what would it be and why?
  • Who were the 5 most meaningful people to your year?

My own answers to these questions are long and rambling, so here’s a couple of key themes:

The Obstacle Is The Way

I heard about Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is The Way quite a while ago but only started reading it in December. I’m half way through and it’s incredible - one of those books I wish I’d read years ago. It’s provided me with a brand new lens through which to view what I went through in 2021. Here are some of my favourite quotes:

Whatever we face, we have a choice: Will we be blocked by obstacles, or will we advance through and over them?

Great individuals, like great companies, find a way to transform weakness into strength. It’s a rather amazing and even touching feat. They took what should have held them back—what in fact might be holding you back right this very second—and used it to move forward.

Objectivity means removing “you”—the subjective part—from the equation. Just think, what happens when we give others advice? Their problems are crystal clear to us, the solutions obvious. Something that’s present when we deal with our own obstacles is always missing when we hear other people’s problems: the baggage. With other people we can be objective.

I’ve got at least one Kindle highlight for every chapter in the book. It’s a goldmine. The overarching message is that every difficulty you face in life can be an opportunity to improve our resilience or to learn something new.

I experienced some dark times last year. I frequently felt low for several days at a time and even had a couple of panic attacks. I can now look back at the mental strength and fortitude I had to embrace to slowly pull myself out. It wasn’t enjoyable, but I’ve come out of it with a greater appreciation for my own bravery and ability to deal with adversity.

I love running. Due to injury, I had my lowest yearly mileage in 2021 since I started running seriously in 2017. This got me down at times and I find it difficult to function without my running fix. However, I got to spend more time with my family and have developed a new outlook on how I should structure my training. Like many runners I’ve been guilty of overtraining in the past but now I’m committed to slowing down, building things up slowly and listening to my body.

I’m hoping that embracing some of the lessons from this book can help me do my most important job: being a dad. It’s natural to get frustrated with our kids at times when they’re not doing as they’re told or when we let work problems spill into home life. By being more conscious of my obstacles and being present, I plan on being the best dad I can be. On that note I’d recommend the Daily Dad newsletter (for which Ryan Holiday is also responsible) for a daily nugget on parenthood.

Quitting is for winners

In the past I’d have considered myself weak for leaving a job after two months. You haven’t given it enough time. You need to man up, work hard and get over it. What is wrong with you. Typical self critical thoughts you may experience when having to make a big life decision.

Turns out I accidentally used Steven Bartlett’s quitting framework, which can be found in his book Happy Sexy Millionaire: Unexpected Truths about Fulfilment, Love and Success. Here’s how it goes:

(thanks to Ali Abdaal for the above image)

Everyone’s definition of “it sucks” is going to be different. I conflated my identity with my job, and because I didn’t want to be a software engineer anymore life was pretty sucky as a result.  There was nothing inherently wrong with the job, I just didn’t want to do it, hence it sucked. It wasn’t worth the effort for me to make it not suck, as that meant I’d have to fundamentally change who I am as a person by convincing myself I had to do a job that I didn’t find fulfilling.

Frameworks and tools like this are super useful when it comes to making decisions. By taking responsibility for quitting I now feel empowered to decide what the right path is for me.

This is the first time I’ve ever done a yearly review and I’d thoroughly recommend it. It was a cathartic experience and I often find writing things down results in a more positive form of introspection than the voice in your head.

I hope 2022 is going well for you so far. Please share this with a friend if you think they’d find it useful.