I’ve had a lot of time to think and reflect on fatherhood thanks to my career break.

Some examples of our kids’ behaviour in 2022:

  • Complaining their dinner is disgusting on sight, before taking a single mouthful and despite having enjoyed an identical meal previously. When we finally convince them to return to the table and try it after storming off, they wolf it down. “That was delicious, thanks for dinner.” WTF.
  • Refusing to go to clubs that they go to (and love) on a weekly basis. My youngest kicked up a massive fuss about going to football training. I’m talking a full on tantrum. On his return home he said “Tell mum it was just alright even though it was absolutely brilliant.” WTF.
  • Answering back, rudeness and forgetting all the manners we’ve encouraged them to use throughout their lives. I’ve lost count of the number of times harmless offers of drinks or snacks have somehow resulted in a shouting match. “I am literally offering you crisps why are you snapping at me.” WTF.

My responses to the above episodes have been sub-optimal at times. On occasion I’ve flown off the handle or stormed off myself. Neither of these help, and I shouldn’t be surprised if the kids do this if I’m prone to do it myself.

As is often my tendency, I have been questioning my ability as a father rather than seeing it for what it is: testing the boundaries. I’ve struggled to extract myself from the moment and take a bird’s eye view of what is going on. Were it a friend telling me about their kids doing any of the above, I’d put it down to a phase or tiredness as we approach half term (“end-of-term-itis” as we like to call it in our house). Writing things down and talking about it helps, as usual.

It’s so easy to focus on the less fun bits of parenting even though there are countless moments of joy that can pass us by. I’m going to make a conscious effort to acknowledge and appreciate these moments, no matter how small.

Obviously there’s no childcare manual that give us all the answers, but I’m keen to do a bit more reading on parenting strategies. On my list are Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn and 10 Rules for Resilience: Mental Toughness for Families by Joe Sena (which I heard about from the Rich Roll podcast #652).

Hit me up if you’ve got any recommendations or fancy a chat about parenting.